And now, Introducing an alternative to the Persistently
Stupid and Boring Perth Scooter Boys that clutter up the Scarbs bike bays showing off their Poofy Shite Bling. Friday Night Riders, Also known as. (Drum Roll) 'THEY WHO WEAR THEIR UNDERPANTS ON THE OUTSIDE' Because we can, before you ask.
Dont wanna be lumped in with the crowd, Feel that your above riding with slow pokes who wanna ride at the speed limit and are too scared to lane split or, horror, actually overtake a car! And as for riding around with girls, Well, You do that if you want to.
Anyone’s welcome on these rides, But like anything worth desiring there are some do's and don'ts that need to be observed before you can say with pride, "I've ridden with they who wear their underpants on the outside". You do need to be able to spot the leader when he moves and try and keep up, You don't need to know where the rides going, You dont need an attitude if you've got an R1 What is it with these? Don't Harley riders accept them any more or somethin? You don't need to wear your underpants outside until told to by they who do. And be warned, any body seen prematurely wearing their underpants on the outside will be caught and their underpants removed. Violently. Of course once accepted you'll be expected to wear your underpants on the outside of your jeans with pride and aplomb like any superhero.
On the rides if you can’t keep up then you're expected to crash trying, The upside is enough crashes and this will give you brownie points and street cred. If your on an R1 of course you'll be expected to ride like a complete twat, i.e. sticky throttle syndrome on the straight bits and wobbling around in corners with the obligatory wheelie that doesnt exceed regulation R1 height of about one foot and only 20ft long.( loud snickering permitted here ) There's a code of behavior that everyone should strictly adhere to but its a bit hard to as its secret. Of course I can’t tell you the unmentionable secret meeting places as its unmentionable, and, well, secret. And we don’t stop for petrol.Or cops. Or crashes, but we do stop for coffee. There’s this secret handshake as well but if I show you that then I'll have to kill you. And naturally it's taken for granted that no girl riders are permitted ( as they’ve never really been able to master the secret handshake) and no 250's will be tolerated. Actually that’s not totally true, 250s have been along before but only in a sacrificial capacity, i.e., Here copper, book this while we bugger off. Bwahahahahaha. Oh, did I mention you might need to be able to ride fairly quickly to avoid the taxis with disco lights .
Horror! News Flash
FNR is undergoing a bit of a bad spell at the moment, Membership has dropped, Its very low, In fact its zero. Due to some horrible gaffes (read poor riding) by some of the founding members they've all been booted out for breaching the strict code of conduct. Because of this you probably won't see too many bike riders wearing their underpants on the outside down at Scarbs for a while on Friday nights. If you feel you've got what it takes, contact me and we'll put you through your paces and who knows, Soon YOU may be wearing your underpants on the outside on friday nights.
There's a new TEST below to see if your a squid or not, Its fairly long so get a coffee or beer before you start it.
Or you could just answer this: Do you ride a 1000cc dick extension on the road?
